A Normal Day in STARS
by Nupao
Summary: Kinda continuation to my first storry, this is now a normal day to Wesker in the Raccoon Police Department and being STARS with his eternal enemy Chris Comedy with some strong language... Pff not yaoi


There was a fly around, it was surely big 'cause you could hear it flying from a good distance

Around the drawers, near that old computers, then deflected for the fans hanging from the ceiling, and into the trash cans filled with some importants papers that no one had bothered to file, that had been the journey of the fly.

-Oh for God's Sake!-Chris took the stapler in his desk and threw it directly to the wall.

At that sound an innocent Brad raised his arms and screamed panicked –I give up! Don't shoot!

The stapler had instantly shattered into pieces, but it truly has been a success, the fly was now all squashed on the wall –Haha! Now you can't bother anyone but the Fly's God

Joseph, was laughing out loud, he didn't even bothered to close the computer game.

-Chris!-Jill had also panicked at the sound but now was furious at Chris!- Hell Chris! You almost give us all heart attacks

-I am fine- said Barry from his desk in the shadows

-Barry, please I'm talking with Chris, now go back to the shadows!- He didn't complain at all and sat down again –Now Chris! Do you know how many paperwork we have? I dare you, try to be the one who is going to tell Captain Wesker that we need another stapler!

-Oh come on! We don't even us- Chris turned his view aside from Jill to Wesker's desk, everything was in order, papers in a perfect pillar, and of course, every group of papers stapled –Uh oh

Before Chris could say something else, someone opened roughly the door

I heard a shot… or something like that –Wesker slowly turned his view –and for your welfare I hope someone is dead

-It… it was… it was just me Captain… -Wesker looked now a Chris, a look that could kill someone

-You? What happened? You forgot to put the lock of your gun?...again? I thought that you've learnt your lessons after last time

-I surely did –said Barry coming out of the shadows again - After getting shot in the ass from your teammate you learn a lot… but you are not the same later…

Wesker was now looking at Barry, but remained silent for a few more seconds –I asked you** kindly **to not talk about that ever again… And for Christ Sake! turn the lights on!

-But, it makes me look cool and mysterious, like the guy you don't know his side

Wesker chuckled a little –Like a traitor? You? Ha! –That chuckled was staring to turn into a laugh, Barry just narrowed his eyes and muttered something clearly offending

.Hey! This is my man! See? you are able to laugh Albert-

Chris had been walking confidently towards his captain, arms opened ready to a hug…

-Don't… call me Albert…ever again… Chris

Wesker hadn't yet turned his face back to Chris, he knew that was creepier, and wanted to keep the mood.

-Hey that's a good point –said Joseph with no one else to listen to him but Brad –why is that everybody here is called mostly for his first name but ol' Captain?

-Then I call you Al?- Jill slapped her own forehead, Wesker's only answer was a grunt -…. Albie? -Captain was taking his hand to his gun

"Calm… down, calm down" Wesker repeated to himself "Remember what Spencer did to you when you killed a scientist"

-Alberto then? That one sounds okay? –Jill exploded and hit Chris on his head

-Would you just shut up before you end up dead in some alley?

.-Excellent suggestion Jill -said Wesker with a voice that sounded almost like a purr –In fact Chris, I would-_ BeepBeep_, something in Wesker's waist was vibrating, he turned back to the door

-Wanna spy who is talking with him?-said Joseph with a giggle

-Why for? –asked Jill

-I don't know… it could be his mom and it could be fun- he nudged Brad – Let's go

-I'm in!

-_Yes?… -_answered coldly his phone

"_Wow, Wesker has a tough way to answer his phone" _tought Chris

_-Hi William…wha- kicked out? –_he chuckled a little_- no! no! I'm not laughing at your "disgrace"…_

"_Sure he is not" _Taught Jill rolling her eyes

_-why?...you were an idiot…I was obviously lying… _

"_Cap Wesker? A badass son of a bitch lier? Nah, you must be wrong" _Tought Barry as he overheard too

_-sure Will, you can sleep with me tonight… _

-Holy Crap! Wesker is… gay? -said Chris with his face getting pale-

-He is not gay Chris-hissed Jill

_-yes I have a place for you with me…_

-Sounds pretty gay to me-said Barry with his gross voice

_-what?... oh come o…-_Wesker sighed, he wasn't even noticing his team was overhearing- _of course no!... neither I or my cat are going to steal your work… _

-Ha! Cap super manly man Wesker has a cat, ha ha ha… -Everybody stared at Joseph annoyed

_-OKAY! IF YOU'R STUBBORN WITH THAT YOU CAN FIND ANOTHER BED TO SLEEP!... _

-GaaAaAaAaAaAAyyyyyyy!- sassed Chris to Jill with a ghostly voice, earning only a punch in the ribs

_-ok… I hope so… yeah see you at night…-_ He ended the call closing his phone

He stood there but turned his face so quickly that caused Brad to fell down of surprise…

-Anything to say?

-Yes… -started Chris making Jill pray _"God please, he is not going to say what I think he is going to say, right?" _-Are you… gay?

Wesker's fancy phone fell from his hands, but in a kinda slow motion he caught it in the air _"Wow, that drug Will keeps shooting in me is working" _

-Cool! Captain Wesker was shot with Green Globuline too! Hahaha awesome

-What? Do you drink stupidity in a can? Or Eat moron o's for breakfast Chris?

-Bitch!-said Chris in an childlish tone

-Who? Me?-Wesker adjusted his shades, with a smirk he took off his badge and left his gun over a table- I'll show you who the bitch is!- as soon as he said that he punched Chris in the face –Right between the eyes… Bitch!

-Oh my!... This is good-said Brad-Jos, are you rec…

Joseph had his camera on and was keeping record of the moment

-Now you're fucked! You son of a—another punch to the face, he spit some blood-is that all you got bit—the punches kept coming

-N-now…I am… engry-said Chris with some bruises starting to show up and blood purring out of his nose, clearly dizzy-

-You don't have any idea how much I'm enjoying this.

Chris felt the black coming to get him, and aimed for a last punch, in slow mo for him he could hear the slow and gross laugh of Wesker

-HA…HA…

-You- motha'fucker!-Yelled he

For Jill it all happened so slow… Chris was in the floor and the dizzy stood up, Wesker was laughing.

-Was happening in here?-Came a pissed off Enrico trough the door, Chris didn't even noticed him, opposite to Wesker, who was surprised to see the door opened so suddenly that didn't realized the fist coming to his head.

For Jill it all happened to quickly, Chris had stood up and get to connect a punch to Wesker's head, but it had been to much for him… Both fell to the floor, Wesker smashed his face and Chris just felt over him…

-Oh! Could this just be any more perfect?-Said Joseph with his camcorder at hand –oh I know…-he duck to the two man and moved Chris arm so it seemed they were hugging…

-Wow-said Enrico, when Barry approached him –it happens every day… come on…. Let's go for a sandwich

Everybody stared at him….

-Yeah let's go- they all said and went out the door… leaving the two poor men down in the floor unconscious.


End file.
